It's no surprise to any of you what Martha and I are going through with caring for aging and sick family. At some point we will all be old, personally I'd like to do it gracefully and on my own terms. Martha is struggling with a mother still at home who is reluctant to accept help and not all her affairs are in order. In my case, my aunt has ended up with a court appointed guardian who for lack of a better description is on a power trip.
You can read the petition in its entirety at the above link, but there are a few passages with the verbiage I'd like to address today that I will highlight for you.
...Instead of objective due diligence, subjective attorney input is a routine criteria used by judges in guardianships to appoint a stranger to take control of an elderly person's life - of course, at the expense of that elderly person. Family members quickly learn not to speak out for fear of losing the right to even visit their loved one when they are most vulnerable.
Citizens declared "incapacitated" in this living probate system can lose all of their civil rights and liberties and end up with less rights than death row prisoners...
...Most family and friends find fighting for their loved one cost prohibitive and those who do try end up in a legal battle becomes a prolonged life-altering ordeal expensive on both financial and emotional fronts usually ending only when one side's money runs out.
My aunt is in a personal care home that CAN accommodate up to 16 patients. They have never had more than 8 since I've been here. To me that is a red flag in and of itself as this is a reallllllllllllllly nice home, but the staff is less than adequate in my opinion or in other words not a staff I would choose for my loved one. The clients for the home are all under some form of court appointed guardianship to my knowledge.
Before I ever arrived and part of why I did, is that my aunt would call and say that the house manager and one of the nighttime caregivers were abusing her verbally, emotionally and at times physically by picking her up, tossing her in bed and taking her walker away. In the beginning as my uncle was working with the guardian to solve this, the guardian said that she needed proof, but has not done anything to instigate an in depth investigation and quite recently has turned tables and is taking the stance that it never happened. The guardian is now listening ONLY to the house manager (who if you remember a few weeks ago I mentioned is a loud, rude and lazy woman who screams at everyone) and the case facilitator who is employed by her, the guardian (who in adult cases does not have to be a social worker here). Both of which are making things up to suit their needs and cover up their own short comings.
The guardian seems to make a new rule everyday to suit her needs. One of which is that I am not allowed in the personal care home because she doesn't "LIKE" me. I wonder why? LOL could it be because I am questioning and asking for answers regarding the questionable care that my aunt is receiving? While we are fighting all the issues, which is no easy feat as not many people will listen after they hear that there is a guardian involved (BTW there is only a guardian involved because of my uncle's health at the time and the ability to care for my aunt because of his own health).
Some of the other rules are just as ludicrous. The case facilitator claims my aunt was calling her 18, 19, 20 times a day. So the guardian announced that my aunt can only have her phone between 9AM & 6PM. My uncle has pulled the records and this is just not the case. My theory is that if she, the case facilitator, would answer the original call my aunt would have no cause to call back the next day. If I would send an email, she would send back a poorly written and terse comment that she wasn't going to "micro-manage" these details daily. HELLO?? If she had managed them at all I wouldn't be sending an email.
Another rule is that anyone visiting must check in with the house manager as the guardian states that this is a rule of the court. The man that owns the home is going through a bankruptcy and there is a court appointed ombudsmen to oversee and make sure the care is not lacking for the clients. My uncle called to verify this and was told that this is NOT a court rule, that ringing the doorbell and be allowed entry by an employee is sufficient. She then proceeded to call the guardian and inform her of that. The next thing you know there is another rule that my aunt can no longer be visited in her room, but only in the common areas. Our theory on that is that they want to "hear" everything being said.
He's been working with his lawyer to try and get these things worked out, but it's time consuming, costly and emotionally draining. There has been more than one tear shed here recently.
My uncle ran into another patient's daughter last week who is also a bit disgruntled with her loved one's care. He gave her his business card and said call anytime. This week he ran into her again and she said that the man that runs the home tried to take the business card from her and informed her she wasn't allowed to speak to my uncle again. WTF? There really is something rotten in Denmark.
One of the things I have uncovered this past week is the HUMAN RESOURCES CODE and this paragraph in particular.
"Abuse" means:(A) the negligent or willful infliction of injury, unreasonable confinement, intimidation, or cruel punishment with resulting physical or emotional harm or pain to an elderly or disabled person by the person's caretaker, family member, or other individual who has an ongoing relationship with the person;(a) person having cause to believe that an elderly or disabled person is in the state of abuse, neglect, or exploitation, including a disabled person receiving services as described by Section 48.252, shall report the information required by Subsection (d) immediately to the department.
(b) If a person has cause to believe that an elderly or disabled person, other than a disabled person receiving services as described by Section 48.252, has been abused, neglected, or exploited in a facility operated, licensed, certified, or registered by a state agency, the person shall report the information to the state agency that operates, licenses, certifies, or registers the facility for investigation by that agency. (She was told multiple times by Sharon and then by George and myself.)
(c) The duty imposed by Subsections (a) and (b) applies without exception to a person whose knowledge concerning possible abuse, neglect, or exploitation is obtained during the scope of the person's employment or whose professional communications are generally confidential, including an attorney, clergy member, medical practitioner, social worker, and mental health professional.
Now for something to take our minds off all the mind boggling things of life:
2 cups finely chopped cooked chicken or pork pieces1 medium Vidalia onion, finely chopped1 large stalk celery, finely chopped1 large carrot, finely chopped1 tablespoon minced garlic, jar1 tablespoon sugar1 teaspoon sea salt1 teaspoon pepper1 tablespoon sesame oil4 tablespoons canola oilegg roll wrappers (I use Melissa's)- Heat skillet with 2 tablespoons of oil. Add onion, garlic, celery and carrots, Saute' until tender.
- Drain, retaining oil.
- In a large mixing bowl toss meat pieces with sesame oil, sugar, salt and pepper. Add vegetables and blend well.
- Cool 5-10 minutes.
- Fill center of each wrapper with 2 tablespoons of filling.
- Fold 1st corner towards the center. Then fold each edge towards the center. With a pastry brush wet the exposed triangle of dough and roll the bulk onto it.
- Add oil back into pan and add the additional 2 tablespoons and bring to medium heat.
- Cook egg rolls on all 4 sides until golden.
BLACKBERRY PINEAPPLE DIPPING SAUCE1/2 cup Blackberry Pineapple Jam2 tablespoons honey2 tablespoons soy sauce- Heat jam in microwave for 20 seconds to warm and thin.
- Whisk in honey and sauce sauce.
- Set aside.
You can find me at my home blogs 3 Sides of Crazy. Always Eat On The Good China, on Saturdays at THE Motivation Station on Sundays here at OUR KrAzY kitchen.
R & R TIP #21: RECOVER from your work
