Leaving on a Jet Plane

Hello TMS'ers, and Welcome to a Whirlwind Wednesday. Our family is flying to the Sunshine State this week for a vacation, and also to see our son perform with his Show Choir. Thank goodness for lists, and more lists, as I count down the time to prepare for our trip.

I took this week off from work, in order to get ready for our trip, yes, it's been that crazybusy.

Among the items on my "to do list" that I've completed are-

- Pay the bills

- Finish taxes

- Laundry, lots of laundry

- Stock up on petfood

- Pick up maps and guidebook about our vacation destination from Auto club

- Meet with petsitters about care of our furbabies and plants

- Print out boarding passes and theme park tickets

I still need to finish packing, charge and download diversions for various electronic devices, and make sure the boys have packed appropriately.

I also have to change purses, cancel the newspaper, and tidy up the house before we leave.

Did I forget anything?? ;oD

Please share your travel secrets, whether you venture cross country or county! Thank you so much, Martha

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Mid Week Check In/What's Happening

Hello Tms'ers and Happy Wednesday!

I am not feeling too motivated or inspired these days, as I have been so busy with an increase in work hours, and illness of the patients, oldest son's Show Choir competition season, youngest son's soccer tournaments and practice, and of course, housework, chores, and squeezed in there, exercise, and of course, rest and relaxation, as prescribed by Ma!

I have realized it really doesn't matter how inspired I feel about stuff, half the battle is just showing up. I have been consistent about working out, and better about meal planning. Decluttering as I clean up, is now second nature to me. I actually enjoy cleaning out the refrigerator and excel at it!! Instead of focusing on how much I have to do, I take pride in how far I,(we), have all come on progressing towards our goals.

So, this is a mid week huddle, just to say, Great Job! Keep up the good work with a High Five and a "booty" bump!

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Mid Week Blue Plate Special/Happy Leap Day

Photo taken at Los Angeles County Museum of Art, Untitled "Blue Plates".



To finish off Fitness February with a Flair, please check out how the color blue suppresses appetite at Color Matters.

Thank you so much, and Happy Leap Day, Year too!

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Boost Your Health- Random Acts of Kindness Challenge

Charley & Abigail sunbathing, best buddies.

Happy Valentine's Day, and I hope today finds you with a light and happy heart, spirit too.

Our focus this month is Health and Fitness, and one way you can improve your immune system, blood pressure, and stress levels, is to perform a Random Act of Kindness. So, in addition to taking yourself for a walk, doing your stretching exercises, and making better diet choices, I challenge you to do something nice for someone else. Whether it's holding open a door for a stranger*, picking up trash, or bringing a snack to a hard working costume designer, the rewards are many. No good deed is forgotten, and hopefully, does remain unpunished.**

*With the certain exception of an elderly gentleman for whom I held open the door at our local shopping mall. He barked at me, literally barked at me, "Why did you do that for?" "Trying to be nice." I replied.

And I will keep trying in ways, big and small, cranky old men aside.

** "No good deed goes unpunished." What did Mother Teresa say? Do good anyway.
(See, not only Mother Teresa and Superman can do "good", we can too.)

Thank you so much, and I look forward to learning of your plans and reactions to this Challenge to share kindness, and a smile too.

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Update to Goals - Mid Week Check In

Charley playing at our local park.


Happy Wednesday and today, I would like to share a Mid-Week Check In on progress to goals, as this helps keeps me accountable and motivated. (Hopefully it does for you too.)

Health and Fitness Goals- I have been going to the gym for Zumba two to three times a week. I was sidelined last week by a bad cold/bronchitis. Today, in addition to Zumba, I am taking a two mile hike with my cousin this afternoon. In addition to our glutes getting a good workout, our spirits do too, as we always have a nice chat.

I have scheduled my biometric screening for our health insurance, just had the annual "boob tortilla press" aka mammogram, my well woman check with oil change and tire rotation, with eye exam coming up next. The jokes about this flow easily for me with my black clinical sense of humor, but after acting as a "surrogate sister" for a dear friend during her recent lumpectomy, and now pending radiation treatment, I do take screening very seriously. DENIAL is the most deadly disease of all.

One objective our family really needs to work on is, improving our diets. It's a challenge with teenagers.

Decluttering Challenge- I have pitched, donated, or recycled approximately 575 items with lots more planned. Our youngest son and I went through his clothes, and organized his closet and drawers. I have to do the same with my oldest son, who did give me 6 clothing items to pass down to his brother or donate, when he got new jeans and shirt for school.

I also cleaned out my refrigerator, and probably some new strains of bacteria too, when I tossed over 36 bottles and jars of CONDIMENTS. Next, in the kitchen zone to tackle, are the kitchen and garage pantries. We have been cooking up freezer and pantry items too, which reduces cost and clutter!

Thank you for your support, motivation, and knowledge, in helping me accomplish my goals, one step, one piece of paper, one pair of outgrown jeans, at a time.

I try to foster an attitude of appreciation, to recognize the incredible abundance, (overload perhaps?), that these tasks represent. My cup runneth over, and I am reminded of a quote by Erma Bombeck about how dirty dishes meant the family is well fed.

Please let me know how you are doing this week towards all your goals, and again, thank you very much.

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Winter Concert Highlights- Gifts of Music & Song

Here are some highlights from our son's Winter Choir Concert. The first two minutes are "Must See TV" for a laugh, it's the all guys group performing "Drummer Boy". Thank you so much and Happy Hannukah!

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Blue Christmas

I became sad in the car while taking my teen to school yesterday, thinking of my late brother, gone now 27 years last month. It struck me that Jim will never meet the 3 most important people in my life, my husband and 2 sons. One of those bittersweet insights out of the blue.

The holidays can be a tough time for many, of which I am reminded not only with my work as a nurse, but it also hit close to home this past week, with a dear friend getting ready to have cancer surgery. She is the mother of one of my son's oldest friends, literally since they were in diapers, and now they are teens. It's funny when you realize that the parents of your children's friends, often become your friends.

I have done barely anything for the holidays, way behind schedule for shopping, cooking, and decorating. I am trying not to stress, which is a challenge, especially with the demands of work and family. *Deep Breath*.

I am thinking of those less fortunate this holiday, not just financial need, but also pyschological. Those are much more difficult to meet.

If this is a hard time of year for you and your family, you are not alone, and others, do care.

"I love my cracks, it's where the light comes in".

A Memento Mori

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What Would I Do If I Won $1111.11? Give It Away for a Child's Smile

Fairy tales can come true. About a month ago, I entered a contest at the website, Chime.in, by writing an essay, (2000 characters or less), of what I would do if I won $1111.11 in honor of 11/11/11.
Well, I entered, and I won! I won one of 14 prizes of $1111.11 each given away.

Here is my entry-

My Chimewish-

What would I do with $1111.11? Give It Away for a Child's Smile.

My Chimewish is to make the wishes and dreams of children come true. I wanted to share some background information for my motivation and plans for a granted Chime Wish. Our family is blessed in many ways, and we are fortunate to be able to provide for our boys' passions for sport and the arts. Unfortunately this is not the case for many in our school district, which is located in a diverse neighborhood where a significant percent of students qualify for free lunches. Our area is no exception in that our local schools' budgets have been cut to the bone. Because of budget cuts and the economy, many children can no longer participate in Art and Athletics. This became poignantly clear to me when I overheard my son's classmate, a new choir student, telling the choir director, he would have to drop out of the program, as he could not afford the transportation or costume fees. Or when my husband, who is a volunteer youth referee, (along with our teens), tells me that the demand for scholarships and free equipment for the soccer program is higher than ever before. I would divide and donate this gift to our often overlooked teens & their families, with the assistance of American Youth Soccer Organization, ww.ayso678.org, & Hart High School district, www.hartdistrict.org, music program. I feel very passionately about this, as not only do I want every child to have the experience of being part of something bigger than them, but also for their families to witness and share in this joy. Please help spread a smile by Liking or Sharing this chime with my sincere thanks.

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Motivation Monday - Food and Family Matters

This is a post from my blog Seaside Simplicity this past weekend. I decided it would be great for Motivation Monday and decided to repeat it here today.

When I first started my food blog Seaside Simplicity it wasn't because I spend all my time in the kitchen cooking up all kinds of complicated recipes and creating amazing meals, it was quite the opposite - I am a full time working mother, one that loves to cook and appreciates good food, but with little time for those things I had to find creative ways to prepare good meals for my family that don't require a lot of time or expense...

Italian Hot Dogs

I have always been determined not to fall into the unhealthy routine so many others do these days of picking up fast food or cooking prepackaged frozen dinners or something from a box on a regular basis. It's always been important to me, and part of how I judge myself as a wife and mother to have home-cooked meals. It's not only for the nutritional value and enjoying good food, but even more important is keeping the family dinner together each evening alive and well.

I have observed that families who still sit down for dinner together are closer than families who don't, they tend to work together better in general and have less struggles and issues in all areas of life. I have had friends say to me "What's your secret? How did you raise such good kids? Are you just lucky?" I honestly believe it's the fact that we sit down together just about every night for dinner. It keeps us close and keeps that family bond that is so often lacking in families these days. Think about your own mealtime habits and those of others you know. Talk to friends and coworkers about it. I think you'll also see the patterns and what a difference the simple act of having dinner together each evening can make.

My goal at Seaside Simplicity has always been to share with others how I create very simple homemade meals for my family that are uncomplicated, quick to prepare, inexpensive, and generally both nutritious and delicious. It does take a little planning ahead, but it's well worth it.

Pasta with Fresh Clams

I spend about 15 minutes every weekend planning our meals for the week. On Sundays I like to do as much prepping as I can for the week ahead, including cooking some things in advance whenever possible. Most of my meals are on the table in under 30 minutes.

Sometimes I like to double or triple the main dish for intentional leftovers to be creative for a different meal the next night...

Giant Meatloaf Puffs From Leftovers

Occasionally meals are only half homemade, using canned veggies or a packaged rice or stuffing for the sides like the meal below - even half homemade beats fast food any day!

 Pork Chops - Half Homemade Meal

So what prompted this post you ask - I was one of the lucky ones who received a free copy of the book The Hour That Matter Most to review. I plan to sit down to read it this weekend and thought I'd give my own thoughts on the family dinner and some samples of some of my own simple meals (just click the link below each photo to go to the recipes) before I get started on the book. I have a feeling my views will be similar and I'm very excited to have this opportunity.

          The Hour That Matters Most launches September 6, 2011
         For more information visit, www.thehourthatmattersmost.com
         Available for purchase on Amazon and Barnes & Noble
       Price: $15.99

Be on the look out for my upcoming review at Seaside Simplicity.

Wishing you a Motivated Monday and a great week!
.

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When the Going Gets Tough, the Tough Hang In There

Hello, dear friends and I hope you and yours are doing well.



My life has been a whirlwind with the kids going back to school, and their extracurricular activities of soccer and show choir. Add in the mix, a planned end of summer visit by my college aged niece and nephew, and a most unplanned hospitalization for my 80 year old mom, plus the euthanasia of her elderly cat, Sophie. In addition, my 16 y/o son and I spent over two hours at the Department of Motor Vehicles for him to take his Behind the Wheel Driver's License test, which he passed. (Yipee, I'm very proud of him.)



Even though, I am an optimistic and upbeat person by nature, I am working hard to not let this bring me to my "pyschological knees". I am doing this by keeping busy with household and work responsibilities, and some volunteer work too. Maintaining my exercise routine and healthy diet are also really helpful. I try not to live in my head too much, and I realize that I can choose to be sad or happy, and today, I choose Happy.



I am not going to deny or dwell on my feelings about these circumstances, I am going to try and "just be" in the moment, and then move forward, just one step at a time.



It's always illuminating to go through these tough times, I try to look at them as a gift. The gift of insight in seeing how those around you react when times are tough, the realization how precious the gift of support and kindness is, and to be both the giver and receipient in this cosmic tug of war.



Thank you for allowing me to share and how are you hanging in there? And what can I do to help besides let you know I care?



Thank you again, Martha

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Cleaning Out My Closet - When It's More than the Blues

Personal Health Questionnaire for Depression Screening*

Over the last 2 weeks, how often have you been bothered by any of the following
problems? Yes No

1.During the past month, have you often been bothered by feeling
down, depressed, or hopeless?

2.During the past month, have you often been bothered by little
interest or pleasure in doing things?

About three months ago I answered a solid "yes" to both questions when I found myself in the grips of a depression as bad as when my brother died 27 years ago. I was in the perfect storm- hormones, work, family, responsiblity, my own mortality, and even my work with several suicidal patients seemed to be contagious.

The scary and sad part was, that even though intellectually, I knew I was in trouble, deep weeds as they say, I was not well enough to do anything to help myself for a couple months. It took all my energy to meet my daily work and home obligations, and learn to set down my own troubles and focus on something outside myself to function. My work is a source of satisfaction and pride, and that helped keep me going. I am also mindful and appreciative of my blessings, especially when friends and patients have struggles much greater than mine. I recognize my cup truly runneth over and this insight helps sustain me.

I felt better enough to seek some help, and I am finding my joy and balance again. It's a slow process, but certainly beats the alternative. I am enjoying my hobbies again, like gardening, and crafts, and have actually completed an embellished tank and jeweled bookmark.

I am thankful for the genuine love and support of family and friends, near and far who humble me with their caring. You all are part of this inspiration and support, for which I truly thank you.

I hope by "cleaning out my closet" with sharing about my depression, that I might help someone who is struggling, or help those close to the person recognize it and reach out.


*The Patient Health Questionnaire (PHQ) sets are self-reported depression rating scales. For example, the Patient Health Questionnaire-9 (PHQ-9) is a self-reported, 9-question version of the Primary Care Evaluation of Mental Disorders.[12] The Patient Health Questionnaire-2 (PHQ-2) is a shorter version of the PHQ-9 with two screening questions to assess the presence of a depressed mood and a loss of interest or pleasure in routine activities; a positive response to either question indicates further testing is required.

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Got Emergency Supplies?

The recent headlines of natural disasters in Japan and New Zealand reminded me, it was time to restock and rotate my emergency water and supplies.

After growing up with tornadoes in Ohio, going through hurricanes in Florida, and Earthquakes in Los Angeles, you realize - It Can and Will Happen to you. Not just natural disasters, but also manmade disasters, like house fires, water main breaks, and electrical outages.

It is so important to create and regularly discuss an emergency plan with your family, including, who will be your phone contact person out of state to relay messages, and where you will meet in case of an evacuation. Many people forget these vital steps.

You also want to include contingencies for your pets and if you aren't home.

The front community section of your local phone book is a wonderful resource for additional emergency preparedness.

A little bit of planning and preparation go a long way towards peace of mind.

Have you updated your emergency supplies and plans lately? Thank you so much.

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I Survived the Yard Sale

Yard sales are always educational, and the biggest lesson that I learned, is, that I won't be doing this again any time soon. It's a lot of work, especially for the $110 total. It was a good experience for our son though, who is realizing it is hard work to make money, especially when things are priced for 25 and 50 cents each. My son also got to see his mom chase down a woman who tried to steal a sweater. Some People!!!! Really, it just makes your blood boil.

So, in addition to preparing for thieves, having plenty of change and small bills on hand, it was also really helpful to have all the merchandise priced and labeled in advance.

My son and I set up our table and clothesline the night before which was also a time saver.

We had friends stop by and visit which makes it a fun social event. Over 70 houses in our neighborhood participate in the annual sale. My son and his girlfriend went scouting for treasures and found a nice piece of art for her room.

The best part of the sale for the boys was splitting the money. Mine was getting rid of all the clutter and regaining some space back.

Before:

After:

Can I hear an Amen that this little extravaganza is Over?!? AMEN!!!

Thank you very much.

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Shower of Good Wishes

Please join me in a Shower of Good Wishes for our Motivation Station teammate, Mrs.Spock and her family, as they welcome their new little girl, "Miss E".

Today, I invite you to a "virtual baby shower", by sharing any favorite childrens' books for the Spock family.

I love childrens' literature and have so many favorites, it's hard to narrow my list. Our family especially loves Jamberry, Goodnight Gorilla, Mrs.Spider's New Car, Mike Mulligan and the Steam Shovel, Armadillo Rodeo, A Wrinkle in Time, the list goes on and on. It's like picking a favorite child, well, almost! ;o)

Please let us know what stories and books hold a special place in your heart and memories. Thank you so much, Martha @ A Sense of Humor is Essential


You may have tangible wealth untold;
Caskets of jewels and coffers of gold.
Richer than I you can never be -
I had a mother who read to me.

Author - Strickland Gillilan

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To Every Thing there is a Season

This post is dedicated to MarthaM and her family, and everyone, (including myself), whose holiday season is also marked with Grief.

Thanksgiving used to be my most favorite holiday, I have delightful memories of warm and wonderful times with my family.

That all changed when my older brother, Jim died 26 years ago at the age of 24 years old, on Thanksgiving Day. We were very close, I miss him still.

It was a very dark and sad time for our family, and for me. I went through such a period of self destruction, I sometimes am amazed that I survived at all. I couldn't let my parents bury two children, and I struggled through that part of the grief process with good counseling and support. I learned how important it is to take care of yourself during the acute grieving process.

I work to honor the love, life, and spirit of my brother, grandparents, and all my lost loved ones by creating new memories and sharing traditions with our children, family, and friends. This is their due, their right, my privilege, to share their stories and lives, and keep their love alive, and part of our lives, every day, especially during the holidays.

From the Book of Ecclesiastes, words attributed to King Solomon, popularized by The Byrds' song, Turn!Turn!Turn!

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, a time to reap that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

For those who are grieving this season, you are not alone, I abide with you.

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Motivation Monday - Being prepared for difficult times

I know I have been dwelling on the subject of aging and having things in order this month due to my own situation with my mother. It's what I'm living right now, and I hope some of the things I have discussed lately will be helpful to others to be more prepared before finding themselves or loved ones in similar situations. Illness and aging is never easy, but the better prepared we are, the more time we can spend with our loved ones instead of spending the time running around trying to get things in order when something happens.

There has been very little progress with my mother at this point. She has been in the hospital for a week as of today. The plan is to release her to a rehab (hopefully today) for 4-6 weeks to try to get her strong again. Even in this extremely weakened state she is fighting the idea of any other options besides going back home to live alone once she gets through this. I don't even think they will release her under those conditions, at least not unless there is some miraculous improvement. She may not have a choice.

We have some options to think about - assisted living, hiring someone to live in with her, having her come to live with us or my family moving in with her.  Here's a shocker - a good full care assisted living facility runs on average between 4-5 thousand dollars a month! Without any kind of long term care insurance that all has to come out of pocket. I'm sure hiring a live in, especially if it has to be someone with medical certification will also be extremely expensive and also out of pocket, I haven't even started looking into that option yet.

My initial idea was to get my mothers home ready for us to be able to move in there since she has the larger of our two homes, yet no matter how much I try to talk to her, reason with her, and try to persuade her, it would go totally against her wishes for me to do anything there without her present - and there is no way we could move in as it is now. It looks like I'm going to have little option but to get my own home ready to move her in here, and it's not going to be an easy task.

Those on our TMS team and regular readers here know all about my big family room project that still awaits. It was originally a two car garage converted into a family room. Over the years it has become little more than a big carpeted, air conditioned, furnished storage room. I will need to give my mother my bedroom so she has easy access to a bathroom and convert the family room into a new master bedroom.

I don't know where to start and don't have a clue how I am going to find the time to do it. I have taken a couple weeks leave of absence from work, but my days and evenings have been spent at the hospital.  Once I do find a way, making our surroundings livable and comfortable for the whole family is only the first step. My mother will still need someone here with her while we are at work and school, she will also need her meals prepared, transportation to doctors, home health care, physical therapy, and someone to assist with personal care. Most of these things are only covered by medicare for a short time after being released, and some not covered at all.

It's too late to change my mothers level of preparedness - or should I say non-preparedness, it's just something I will somehow have to deal with now. It sure does have me thinking about how much I need to do and change in mine and my husbands preparations for our future so that our children never have to go through what I'm going through now.

Here are some things to think about to be better prepared - have a good insurance plan, not just for medical but also for long term disability, long term care, and life insurance. Have an attorney you can talk to and really trust that doesn't charge you a fortune every time you have a question. Of course have your will, living will, health care surrogate and power of attorney papers drawn up. Have a representative at your bank that you like and trust, go in and get to know them a bit so they are better able to assist you with your long term needs and even handle things by phone if you should be hospitalized or become home-bound. Last but definitely not least - get rid of stuff! Stop saving things you don't use and really love, learn to let it go. Don't leave a bunch of stuff for your family to have to deal with when you are too old to do it yourself or after you are gone, and don't find yourself in my situation and suddenly be forced to have to go through years of stuff during time that should be spent with a loved one.
 
I think a lot of us think of having medical insurance, a will, and maybe a life insurance policy as having things in order, I know I did - but if we were to become seriously ill, disabled, or just unable to care for ourselves in our golden years there is so much more to be considered. Waiting until something happens is too late, and it leaves way too much open for regrets for ourselves and our loved ones.
 
Live simply, have a plan, and be prepared.

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Motivation Monday - Serenity

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference."

I don't have much in the way of motivation to offer today other than saying no matter how much we try, or how motivated we are, in some situations we have to just accept that we can't do it all.

My mother has had a really bad weekend. I have had to take another day off today to get her to her doctor and figure out some solutions. The bottom line is that no matter what I do, it isn't enough anymore. She absolutely cannot live alone anymore, she needs round the clock care. She is fighting me but she can't function enough to care for herself. I am going to have to make some tough decisions to force her into a different situation.

Sometimes we just have to recite the Serenity Prayer and then do what we believe is the best thing to do no matter how hard it may be. Wish me luck today and please send good thoughts and prayers our way!

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