Cleaning Out My Closet - When It's More than the Blues

Personal Health Questionnaire for Depression Screening*

Over the last 2 weeks, how often have you been bothered by any of the following
problems? Yes No

1.During the past month, have you often been bothered by feeling
down, depressed, or hopeless?

2.During the past month, have you often been bothered by little
interest or pleasure in doing things?

About three months ago I answered a solid "yes" to both questions when I found myself in the grips of a depression as bad as when my brother died 27 years ago. I was in the perfect storm- hormones, work, family, responsiblity, my own mortality, and even my work with several suicidal patients seemed to be contagious.

The scary and sad part was, that even though intellectually, I knew I was in trouble, deep weeds as they say, I was not well enough to do anything to help myself for a couple months. It took all my energy to meet my daily work and home obligations, and learn to set down my own troubles and focus on something outside myself to function. My work is a source of satisfaction and pride, and that helped keep me going. I am also mindful and appreciative of my blessings, especially when friends and patients have struggles much greater than mine. I recognize my cup truly runneth over and this insight helps sustain me.

I felt better enough to seek some help, and I am finding my joy and balance again. It's a slow process, but certainly beats the alternative. I am enjoying my hobbies again, like gardening, and crafts, and have actually completed an embellished tank and jeweled bookmark.

I am thankful for the genuine love and support of family and friends, near and far who humble me with their caring. You all are part of this inspiration and support, for which I truly thank you.

I hope by "cleaning out my closet" with sharing about my depression, that I might help someone who is struggling, or help those close to the person recognize it and reach out.


*The Patient Health Questionnaire (PHQ) sets are self-reported depression rating scales. For example, the Patient Health Questionnaire-9 (PHQ-9) is a self-reported, 9-question version of the Primary Care Evaluation of Mental Disorders.[12] The Patient Health Questionnaire-2 (PHQ-2) is a shorter version of the PHQ-9 with two screening questions to assess the presence of a depressed mood and a loss of interest or pleasure in routine activities; a positive response to either question indicates further testing is required.