Motivation Monday - Being prepared for difficult times

I know I have been dwelling on the subject of aging and having things in order this month due to my own situation with my mother. It's what I'm living right now, and I hope some of the things I have discussed lately will be helpful to others to be more prepared before finding themselves or loved ones in similar situations. Illness and aging is never easy, but the better prepared we are, the more time we can spend with our loved ones instead of spending the time running around trying to get things in order when something happens.

There has been very little progress with my mother at this point. She has been in the hospital for a week as of today. The plan is to release her to a rehab (hopefully today) for 4-6 weeks to try to get her strong again. Even in this extremely weakened state she is fighting the idea of any other options besides going back home to live alone once she gets through this. I don't even think they will release her under those conditions, at least not unless there is some miraculous improvement. She may not have a choice.

We have some options to think about - assisted living, hiring someone to live in with her, having her come to live with us or my family moving in with her.  Here's a shocker - a good full care assisted living facility runs on average between 4-5 thousand dollars a month! Without any kind of long term care insurance that all has to come out of pocket. I'm sure hiring a live in, especially if it has to be someone with medical certification will also be extremely expensive and also out of pocket, I haven't even started looking into that option yet.

My initial idea was to get my mothers home ready for us to be able to move in there since she has the larger of our two homes, yet no matter how much I try to talk to her, reason with her, and try to persuade her, it would go totally against her wishes for me to do anything there without her present - and there is no way we could move in as it is now. It looks like I'm going to have little option but to get my own home ready to move her in here, and it's not going to be an easy task.

Those on our TMS team and regular readers here know all about my big family room project that still awaits. It was originally a two car garage converted into a family room. Over the years it has become little more than a big carpeted, air conditioned, furnished storage room. I will need to give my mother my bedroom so she has easy access to a bathroom and convert the family room into a new master bedroom.

I don't know where to start and don't have a clue how I am going to find the time to do it. I have taken a couple weeks leave of absence from work, but my days and evenings have been spent at the hospital.  Once I do find a way, making our surroundings livable and comfortable for the whole family is only the first step. My mother will still need someone here with her while we are at work and school, she will also need her meals prepared, transportation to doctors, home health care, physical therapy, and someone to assist with personal care. Most of these things are only covered by medicare for a short time after being released, and some not covered at all.

It's too late to change my mothers level of preparedness - or should I say non-preparedness, it's just something I will somehow have to deal with now. It sure does have me thinking about how much I need to do and change in mine and my husbands preparations for our future so that our children never have to go through what I'm going through now.

Here are some things to think about to be better prepared - have a good insurance plan, not just for medical but also for long term disability, long term care, and life insurance. Have an attorney you can talk to and really trust that doesn't charge you a fortune every time you have a question. Of course have your will, living will, health care surrogate and power of attorney papers drawn up. Have a representative at your bank that you like and trust, go in and get to know them a bit so they are better able to assist you with your long term needs and even handle things by phone if you should be hospitalized or become home-bound. Last but definitely not least - get rid of stuff! Stop saving things you don't use and really love, learn to let it go. Don't leave a bunch of stuff for your family to have to deal with when you are too old to do it yourself or after you are gone, and don't find yourself in my situation and suddenly be forced to have to go through years of stuff during time that should be spent with a loved one.
 
I think a lot of us think of having medical insurance, a will, and maybe a life insurance policy as having things in order, I know I did - but if we were to become seriously ill, disabled, or just unable to care for ourselves in our golden years there is so much more to be considered. Waiting until something happens is too late, and it leaves way too much open for regrets for ourselves and our loved ones.
 
Live simply, have a plan, and be prepared.